Prime Time


Call us self-serving, but we are tired of the litany of new year’s resolutions that obsess over weight loss and habit breaking (for what it’s worth, we think a cookie-a-day is a super stand-in for a mealy apple). We make resolutions only to ignore them. No more; in honor of 2017 being a prime number (indivisible, under God), we’re taking a fresh approach—making some commitments we might actually keep (deliberately or not):

  1. Embrace gluten-full: Our version of GF.
  2. Be more awesome in 2017: However you define that.
  3. Leave your phone in the car: Unplugged, in the cold, so it dies and you’re free!
  4. Drink better [insert beverage of choice]: Coffee, beer, wine, water.
  5. Finish a chap-stick: Don’t lose it to your pockets.
  6. Befriend a teenager: Reassure them—it gets better.
  7. Sing karaoke at the Virginian: Solo.
  8. Stop lying to your book club: Own up to the 10 pages you skimmed.
  9. Don’t pretend people change when the year does: Same, same, not different.
  10. Love yourself like Kanye loves himself.